#1 Beyonce: ‘Cowboy Carter’

Full disclosure. Before today, my entire Beyonce knowledge was ‘Crazy In Love’. I know nothing.

Even though I am in ignorance – I was aware that this album had happened and a certain ‘stir’ had been caused. As well as having no Beyonce-smarts, I’m not a big country music fan. I like Steve Earle a bit and that Johnny Cash album with ‘Hurt’ on it. I even went to see Kasey Musgraves once and there’s the ‘Bob’s Country Bunker’ bit in ‘The Blues Brothers’ but that’s about it.

So – really – I know nothing.
Going back to ‘the stir’. Is it about race? Is it about owning a non-obvious genre? Is it about sticking it to the rednecks? Honestly – don’t know. Is it even a country album…this is THE question….but as I know nothing – can I really say anything meaningful? Does knowing nothing matter? We shall see…

If, by ‘Country’ we mean slide guitars, tight harmony and wide-horizon imagery – then, yes – it’s country. If the genre requires references to love, loss, injustice an insouciant violence, then yes, it’s country.

However, there is a metaphor at work – or at least, I think there is. This isn’t a Country album – it’s an album about a county. It’s a personal journey of the love, loss and injustice, but one that is spread across a canvas of a national scale.

There’s a collection of tropes that try very hard to present the Country credentials and, to the main, they seem to work – but, overall – Beyonce is the subject, she presents herself as a personification of contemporary USA – the genre is a vehicle – and if you want to knit your own life with social comment – then go for the unexpected every time. Godammit – it’s a concept album, boy.

Now I might have missed a lot, because I am super-uninformed, and it might be on purpose, but- Opener ‘American Requiem’ is so reminiscent of Buffalo Springfield’s ‘Stop Children What’s That Sound’ that it leads thoughts to Marvin Gaye’s ‘What’s Going On’ and seems to suggest that this is the overture to something of significance. it seems political – but no sides are being taken – but it feels anti. Whether it’s anti-Trump or anti-Biden is not possible to tell. There’s a combative air to the lyrics – and with the twanging guitars there’s a definite sense that this is a claim to genre ownership.

Then it’s curveball #1. ‘Blackbird’ is The Beatles ‘Blackbird’. Faithful down to the click-track but with added ooh and aahhs. It’s wonderful – but why is it here? If this sound paints a picture of release, then ’16 Carriages’ follows with what feels like an autobiographical juxtaposition of the old frontier and personal struggle. It also brings ‘Jenny from The Block’ to mind – with the line ‘Highway to Truth’ delivered with slide guitar. These are those tropes mentioned earlier. And here they absolutely are authentic and valid.

And then….”Protector’. And it made me cry. What it means to be a parent is offered with exquisite beauty and a tiger-ish sense of power and purpose. I made notes on every track for this…My notes verbatim: ‘Tearing-up. Shit, I’ve gone. Gorgeous, just gorgeous’. And it really is.

And then it’s Act 2. There’s a segue using Country radio chat – with Willy Nelson mentioned. Is this narrative or just filler? It seems to be the former – as it leads into ‘Texas Hold ‘Em – and I refer again to my notes: ‘Here we go – big style – follow the big old bass drum, she’s making the hoedown all hers – It’s a redneck anthem – genius’. Seems I rather liked it….

And I could go on… ‘Bodyguard’ is the other side of the coin to ‘Protector’ There’s a cover of ‘Jolene’ with some lyrical updates that make it a bombshell of dark promise, rather than threat – added power with ‘bitch’ thrown in for good measure. ‘Daughter’ tells a confessional tale of drink and drugs that feels cathartic and ‘Just For Fun’ hints of a journey ‘down South – just for fun’ – could this be a hint to what the overall intention her was? To mine an untouched seam and theme ? Sometimes you can’t help but wonder if this is about simply changing the vibe rather than the themes – but if this is the case it’s a damn fine illusion.

Basically, if Beyoncé’s next album was all about Olde Merry Englande and featured tunes used by Morris dancers, it wouldn’t be a total shock.

And there’s the collaborations and the cameos. There’s the aforementioned Dolly, Miley Cyrus beautifully swapping the lead on ‘II Most Wanted’ and there’s two appearances by Shaboozey – no, me neither. Whatever.

So – it any good? Yes – definitely. Should you buy it? Not so sure – I listened to all 27 tracks on Spotify and if I’d shelled out for the (shorter) physical version, I might be less effusive. If you are a Beyonce fan, you probably already have – and if you’re not – where you ever going to anyway?

Believe the hype? Well – as I’m still undecided on what it means to be Country, it’s hard to evaluate whether it’s a genre-stealing game-changer. Lyrically, it’s good. Very good in places, perhaps less so in others but it’s definitely got depth and purpose.

Would I listen to more? Yes. I know she’s been around for ages and I’ve never been fussed – but yes. What’s next? ‘Renaissance’ is well-spoken off, I hear – so maybe I’ll give it a go. Maybe fandom is imminent. Doubt it but you never know.

Would I listen to all the 27 back to back again? No, probably not. There’s some wonderful songwriting on the album – but there’s a bit too much ‘extra’ – not ‘filler’ as such – but if I go back – I’ll be making my own little playlist.

Would I have even listened to this is if it wasn’t by Beyonce? Unlikely. It’s a Beyonce album, people have kicked-off a bit about it, there’s a bit of a hoo-ha – so there’s a curiosity element, no doubt. Am I now more of a ‘Good old boy’ in my musical tastes now? Nah – not really. I respect country an’ all – but it’s not my thing. I can respect this album as a piece of art – I’m not a convert. I DO feel that I have a better understanding of why both Country and Beyonce matter – and that’s go to be a positive.

Was this difficult to write? yes – bloody hard. This is the fourth draft – and still not slightly happy with it. And this, is intriguing – because I didn’t think I’d care too much – and I do. And that is a definite sign of quality. Genius? A bit of an overused phrase these days – but yeah – there’s some genius at play here…

One Line summary 6.5/10. Solid. Some true beauty in there….and actually not a lot of controversy, whatever anyone says.

#2 The Tortured Poets Department: Taylor Swift

It can’t be easy being a phenomenon. Any mention of Taylor Swift immediately goes beyond the fact she writes songs and sings them.  When the wing-nut arm of The Republican Party believes that you and your boyfriend are a communist psy-op, when you are worth more that normal written numbers and when your income is on a national scale – there are going to be pressures…..

This is another review from ignorance. But this time, the ignorance is 100%.  Before the listening required to write this, I had NEVER, knowingly listened to a single, solitary Taylor Swift track – and, in all honesty – if she walked into the room – I still wouldn’t know who she was.

There may be some that find this hard to believe. Too bad. It’s true. I have also never, ever been inside a Nando’s, a casino or watched an episode of ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys – so my non conformism is wide and varied.

Those pressures, then.

‘The Tortured Poets Department’ is a monster of a double album. With more than 30 tracks – this formed my initiation into Swift-World. When I wrote about ‘Cowboy Carter’ I did, at least have ‘Crazy In Love’ to provide a little context / comparison – but for this, I had absolutely nothing.

The first thing that occurred is how many tracks Spotify marked as ‘Explicit’ with their helpful little ‘E’. This was a surprise. If I had any preconceptions, one was certainly that Taylor Swift is a clean-cut and non-controversial performer whose success and ‘phenomenon-ness’ is at least partly due to acceptance by conservative audiences.

More on the cursing later –  but for now, let no one forget (and underestimate the importance of the fact) that these songs are written by Taylor Swift herself. There’s no Guy Chambers or Bernie Taupin and this is important, not least because she is an excellent songwriter. And this too, is very important.

Should I have been surprised by the  language? Having no points of reference, I can’t tell, but after relatively sedate openers, ‘Down Bad’ and ’But Daddy, I Love Him’ tell stories of hurt with a liberal sprinkling of ‘fucks’ that – even though I know nothing – just don’t feel right.

When Justin Bieber got arrested for something or other (drink driving? Drugs? Who knows or cares?), the mug-shots got published – and that didn’t feel right either. The early atmosphere can’t help but feel like these are the rebellious adolescent flexing of someone who desperately wants to be taken seriously and seen as a little bit edgy. As someone who has spent well over 30 years of their professional life encouraging teenagers to express their feelings with thought and care – I feel a bit let down and that, due to the overall quality of the composition, she should be better than this and is taking an easy way out.

Maybe she was always SFW and radio-friendly. Perhaps this is an attempt to make music that parents will object to and thus create a frisson of the forbidden and open up a whole new angle. More likely, I’ve got that all wrong – but it really does  feel…wrong.

As the tracks go by, it’s apparent that this is an album of a past existence. When you’ve got this ‘big’, with all that entails, there’s something odd about being presented with a litany of failed relationships and angst. But why not? Just because you have so much now, shouldn’t mean you can’t write about when life wasn’t so great. The thing is that musically, even though the narratives are different and it doesn’t fulfil the old-fart critique of ‘it all sounds the same’  it does feel very similar. Revealing and articulate expressions of lost-love and betrayal are nothing new – but changing-up the mood over 30+ tunes wouldn’t go amiss.   

Being a (very accomplished) songwriter, it’s natural that the lyrics boss the tracks, but so many just ‘start’. There’s so little in terms of building an atmosphere with music. No introduction – no mood-building – just a chord, a beat or two and we’re off. There’s so many times, where you long for a solo, a change of pace beyond a middle-eight – it all seems a bit claustrophobic.  ‘Florida!!’ is the perfect example of how much better this album could be. It’s a collaboration with Florence and The Machine and the combination of the lyricism and some actual musicians makes this far and away the most interesting track so far.

I’m not looking to disrespect those who do play on this album – but bringing something distinctive into the mix elevates things massively. As well as being a great writer, Swift can also sing, but…. not in any way that could be described as a style of her own.  It’s strong, tuneful – highly accomplished, but the first time I heard ‘Wuthering Heights’ I discovered a voice that was one of a kind. The same thing happened with Sinead O’Connor’s  ‘The Lion and The Cobra’ and Bjork’s ‘Debut’ (and before that the Sugarcube’s ‘Birthday’) and no one before had sounded like the way PJ Harvey introduced herself with ‘Dry’ and ‘Rid of Me’.   It may have been aural wallpaper, but even Sade’s ‘Diamond Life’ presented a performance that was absolutely recognisable.

Basically – the lyrics are very good, occasionally beautiful, but the voice is a perfect example of someone who sings very well – but there are millions of people who can do that. 

Finally, there’s a prominent guitar introducing ‘So High School’. No matter that it sounds uncomfortably close to Coldplay’s ‘Yellow, at least it’s arrived.   If Swift wrote for others, or invited a broader range of talent to work with her, the results could be sublime. ‘IomI’ bears an uncanny resemblance to ‘Heartbeats’ by The Knife – but it’s absolutely crying out for another genius to add their touch I know I’m a dinosaur, a David Gilmour guitar solo could open the track up to a deserved wider horizon.  For my money, 15 tracks rather than 30 would have been better – and Taylor, you can afford ANYONE. Get the best musicians the world has to offer and don’t be afraid to be a part of a team-effort, rather than be leading the way all the time.

‘Cassandra’ is another great example. Great idea – great words – but we need MUSIC. It’s not an alien or unknown concept – it’s often referred to as ‘accompaniment’ – and it’s very often a very good thing.

But what do I know?  Remember ‘Be Here Now’ and how the whole world went nuts about how it was a true, epic masterpiece? Who was honestly going to tell Noel Gallagher at the height of his ‘Imperial Phase’ that it was, at best, mediocre and at worst, the overblown and driven by cocaine and hubris?

So – who is going to be in the position to tell Taylor Swift that she could do better when she’s clearly doing the best? I keep going back to this – but she’s a fine, fine writer but think of how a genius producer can enhance talent. Eno, Hannett, Horn, Rubin spring to mind but what would Sergeant Pepper have been without George Martin?  There’s magic in her writing and there’s definite quality in her delivery – but if she experimented and maybe even took a few creative risks, she could be…memorable.

Here’s the thing. 30+ tracks and not one can I remember a hook. She needs musicianship. A few odd moments aside, the accompaniment is ‘competent’. If the whole picture could be as good as her words, the combination could be spectacular. God knows, I am no musician, but so many times (‘Guilty As Sin’ being a prime example) I honestly felt I could play the drum parts. Open yourself to ideas, let others add to the mix and…I could be a Swifty. Right now, there’s still a journey to be made.

However – credit where it’s due. ‘Smallest Man’ sounds like Alanis Morrisette – but that’s not what gives it a proper edge. ‘The Black Dog’ offers genuine intimacy and ‘Imgonnagetyouback’ seems believably defiant. The track ‘Peter’ is superb. There are so many examples of the literal being front and centre – but here, the personal is mixed with the wider and figurative/ There is poetry afoot – and whoever ‘Peter’ is, he should feel bloody lucky to have received such attention.

We’re moving towards a summary. The lyrics are strong. References to Shakespeare, classical mythology and the bible don’t necessarily make for intelligent writing – but this is intelligent. She’s a smart and accomplished story-teller. The nature of her huge reach will mean that there are many people for whom her songs will be the most poetic things they have ever heard. The only thing is, that on this evidence at least, these songs would be more interesting if they were sung by other people.

The second half of the album is better than the first. The TMI is dialled-down and more left to the imagine. ‘Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me’ feels like it could be political – a riposte to the aforementioned wingnuts and ‘The Manuscript’ is another gorgeous set of snapshot images of a past life’s regrets. The line ‘The story isn’t mine anymore’ closes the album – and it’s surely the message of the whole enterprise.

So, it’s hard to be human when you get so big. Maybe people stop seeing your humanity when your existence seems more than human. Nobody really needs to be a billionaire – and I’m sure you can’t really be one without undergoing some kind of mental anguish. Maybe this album is the therapy she needed to remind herself that she’s still one of us. Certainly beats buying Twitter – and I know which of the two I’d rather spend time with. Taylor Swift, despite everything, seems to be a genuine person still grounded in humanity. And I like that.

After all this – am I convinced and converted? No. As I keep repeating, full marks for the song writing, but could do – should do – so much better with the music. There may be some great tracks out there waiting for me to discover, gems that distil all the qualities found in this album.  It’s just that these qualities are momentary and just not sustained across the piece.

Cultivate ‘Team Swift’, write for others and bring more guests to your next party and maybe – maybe I’ll be a Swifty.

Overall: 5.5 /10. ‘Competent all-over, special in parts’
One Line: Fans will probably love it – but, I suspect will love older stuff more.

#3 ‘Houdini’ Eminem

Marshall Bruce Mathers will be 52 in October. Slim Shady is 25 this year and Marshall Mathers, 24.

Whichever incarnation / title you’re happy to with – he’s / they’ve been around for a long time. Eminem (DOB Unknown, but my preferred moniker) has, like him or not, has had a profound impact on our collective musical history and the way many of us approached and appreciated a whole genre. And that is significant, and I thank him for his service.

Like all these writings, I’m not claiming any (and I do mean any) expertise, knowledge or insight.  As you might have read above, before listening to the album for the review, I had never heard a note of Taylor Swift. At the end of the 1990s / early 2000s, it was impossible not to have heard something by Eminem.

At the risk of alienating anyone who knows the full Eminem story, and is a genuine expert, for me, rap is poetry as much as music. Rap allows a performer to articulate in a way that being following the verse/chorus/verse/chorus/middle-eight/verse/chorus stricture doesn’t easily allow. Rap makes argument out of anger, confounds the critics by giving an intelligent voice to frustration. Rap is the politics of the street or the nation. It’s the story of a people, or a person.

All lyrics are poetry – but rap is poetic.  Yes, it can also be gratuitously and celebratory violent, misogynist and homophobic. And….Like all genres there are the good, the bad and the indifferent. 

Mr. Mathers is a class apart. Throughout his career, accusations more-or-less following the negatives above have been levelled at his work. Like many of his peers, there have been personal problems, substance / addiction issues etc etc. But he keeps coming back.’ He’s released buckets of stuff that I’ve never heard – but that could be more about my hermitical life, rather than its quality. Is this latest offering really that different from the stuff I was familiar with back in the day? Seem kinda that way…

So, ‘Guess Who’s Back?’ ‘Houdini’ is as much retro as it is contemporary, but as the sample asks us – who exactly has returned? Which incarnation are we dealing with and how should this impact on how we see this piece?

This is a clueless review. See the title. An indication of exactly how clueless I am is after the first few seconds of the track’s video, I thought ‘ He’s not changed much’. Of course he hasn’t. The video is a mash-up of historical bits and pieces – all very neat and clever. Actually, he looks a lot better these days – the dark beard suits him. The thing is, take the video away from the music and are we left with anything of any real entertainment value? Basically – an amalgam has arrived and I can’t decide who / what I’m dealing with.

The video full of retro bits and pieces. And so is the music. And this is a problem.

There’s a danger here that this track is being driven by nostalgia and is trading rather too much on past glories than celebrating the new. Past tracks – or at least the ones I can remember traded heavily on a well-chosen sample / loop.  This time, it’s from Steve Miller’s ‘Abracadabra’, it works well enough – it fits – and…actually…it’s the most memorable part of the track. Sorry, Marshall.

Here’s the thing. Self-referencing and the recounting of a troubled life is a well-worn trope in the rap world. I’m no expert (as I am at pains to emphasise) but I can recall
Ice-T’s ‘That’s How I’m Living’ as an example that springs to mind. That track offered the listener an insight into a lived experience that the vast majority the audience would have no comprehension of. It allowed a musical ‘true-crime’ episode that provided the morbidly curious with the chance to vicariously share in a touch of the ‘Gangsta /Thug life’ while actually being as safe and secure as they ever were.

The narrative of ‘Houdini’ by comparison seems a bit…’whatever’. Again, I’m not looking to alienate the fans – but a summary of the lyrics could go something like:
‘I’m still alive. I am still really, really bad and nasty and I’m not too sure of some of these new, modern people and their strange attitudes.’

‘Abra-abra-cadabra…..’

I’ve literally just read that this track is the biggest selling track of the year so far. Just shows what I know… That makes me feel that the world is both easily excited and easily pleased.

Where there one was a bit of fury and a bit of angst – or maybe a nicely crafted ‘story with a twist’ (yes, of course I’m referring to ‘Stan’) it feels like this has been replaced by a bit of a whine about the modern-age and some over-sharing that is nowhere near as interesting to listen to as it might have been in 1999.

Maybe all these millions of downloaders can’t be wrong. Maybe this is a slow-burning work of genius. Maybe there is a profundity to the lyrics that has just passed me by. Maybe I’m an idiot. All these things are possible.

Ultimately, it’s Eminem/Mathers/Slim whoever, doing pretty much what he always did and saying it pretty much the same kind of thing. If this was demonstrably better than, say ‘The Way I Am’, then OK. But it isn’t. It’s not worse but there hasn’t been much of an artistic road travelled – and it’s same-old, same-old.

Next please…..

2 out 5
Familiar flavours, a little spice but more ‘re-heated left-overs’ than a new dish